2.7.11
I am nothing without You.
السلام عليكم
Demi masa, Sesungguhnya manusia kerugian.
Before I begin, allow me the chance to say a big "Hello!" and "Welcome!" to July. Sigh, time has passed by and flying very fast now like a jet accelerating at break-neck speed. One more month to go & it will be my prelims and 4 more months till I face my all-time arch nemesis- The A Level Examination. Wait, let me take back my words again, what I meant was arch enemy and not nemesis. I am certainly going to conquer my enemy and will not succumb to defeat . That is why I am currently preparing and assembling my arsenal of weapons, which is my content and skills, so as to diminish the superiority of the Cambridge examiners! Hahahaha. Insya Allah(: Ok, moving on. . .So this week was an extraordinary, miraculous week. The reason being is because many amazing things happened which indeed made me grateful and thankful for Allah SWT the Most Exalted & Most Mighty. These incidents moved my heart so much that I was so overwhelmed with sadness & at the same time, happiness & joy.
To begin with on Monday, as a consequence for not packing my bag the day before, I actually had problems finding my little donation booklet given to me by my teacher. During that time, it was around 6:30am and I had to go to school or else I would be late. So I searched the entire house, looking for the little booklet. Every room, every corner, I frantically searched for it (if I lose it, I would have to report it to the police which is of course absolutely cumbersome). However, to no avail, the booklet was nowhere to be found and the time was around 7+ am. I was intensely consumed by panic and sadness and then I began to ask Allah for help by making Dua. When I turned around & said 'Bismillahirrahmanirrahim", to my amazement, I swear by Allah's name that the booklet was right infront of me, on the floor, camouflage (since it is white). I was stunned, amazed, bedazzled- nothing could describe how I feel at that particular point in time. Masya Allah, SubhanAllah.
On Tuesday, my History teacher (IH) returned back our test papers on the Arab-Israeli conflict essay and before returning, she was mentioning about some pointers to take note regarding our performance as a whole class. After that she told the class that "the highest for this test is 21/25" and everyone was impressed and was in awe, including myself. Then the most miraculous thing was that my teacher actually told the class that I was the highest for the test and immediately I freezed. Masya Allah, SubhanAllah, Allah You are the Most Greatest.
On Wedenesday, my Economics teachers went through our Economics test and returned them to us. To be honest, Economics is one heck of a subject that you would never one to be specialising in. It is difficult, torturous, complicating and the list can go on forever but what surprised me the most was that I got an A (8/10) for my first essay and for both part 1 & 2 essay (due to time constrint I could not finish part B), I got a B (8/15). Immediately, I was in sheer bliss and jubilation but I tried to keep control of my emotions. I had never, ever in my whole JC experience, gotten an A or a B before for my Economics. My teacher praised me infront of the class but I believe that I should not be the one to receive praises, only Allah SWT as He answered my prayers and dua. Alhamdulillah. Masya Allah, SubhanAllah.
On Thursday, for Economics (again) after my teacher finished teaching the whole class, she allowed us to rest for 10 minutes while waiting for the bell to ring. While waiting, she talked about writing reflections (in JC, you have to write reflections for every topic you have covered) and how to write a good refelction. Suddenly she mentioned my name and she told my class that it was her first time in her life being a teacher, who read a very good reflection and had given an A for it. Again, I was stunned and shocked. Apparently I got 8/10. Alhamdulillah. Masya Allah, SubhanAllah.
Yesterday being Friday, my History teacher (SEA) was supposed to return our SEA essay test to us (I think by now you have realised how many tests I have. Well, welcome to YJC :P). I knew and I was absolutely 101% sure that I did not know how to do the question and I even studied and spotted the wrong question so I wrote about 1 and 1/2 page (minimum you have to write is around 6 pages for History). I was certain that I would fail but when my teacher returned my paper to me, I got 12/25 which is an E, which means I passed! Another magnificent miracle. Masya Allah, SubhanAllah.
All these clear indications of how Allah SWT had helped me made me feel really really sorrowful, guilty, dismal towards my actions for Allah SWT. He had given me a lot of miracles and even helped me in times of difficulties but what have I done to thank him? Did I even stayed up at night to pray tahjjud? No, I was busy sleeping and was so engrossed in my dreams ;( I feel so bad, no one can empathise me only Him. Oh Allah, Please forgive me. . . :(