Rant.

I really dislike it when someone judge me just because I've already started wearing the hijab. Their perception and mindset is certainly flawed and narrow. They think that once someone starts to wear the hijab, she cannot make any mistake at all. Like for instance, I really hate it when someone says. . "Eh aku ingatkan kau dah berubah? Tapi macam sama jer." whenever I make a small joke or when I do something inappropriate which is not even considered a sin. Pshhh, it is annoying. There's a difference between attitude and personality. Personallity is something which defines you- it is what makes you unique from other individuals. You can have a shy personality, outgoing personality blah blah blah whatever, but I just want to say that YES all MUSLIMAHS WHO WEAR THE HIJAB, WE DO HAVE PERSONALITIES. So even if we wear the hijab, you cannot restrict us from being our own individual self. Who are you to tell me how to behave and stuff? Who are you to even deliver such a comment? You don't even know the level of our iman so just shut up.

Stop judging others seriously, it is so annoying and frustrating. Please look at yourself first and judge yourself before telling others, "Oh I thought you've changed, but you are still the same." BS. I have the right and authority to choose what I want to show to you and my Lord. So please mind your own business.

Another thing that seriously hurt me was when you (not the same person) gave the comment "jangan pakai tudung lah". i mean seriously????? Who are you to order me and I was freaking joking. I really thought that you would at least encourage me or give words of wisdom and shit but it turned out otherwise. Do you know how hurt I was? Why not tell me to go eat pork or go take drugs? I don't understand why when I've started to wear the hijab, everyone treats me like as though I am a control freak who can't joke around. I am not a robot mind you, I am just a normal human being who is trying to improve myself for Allah's sake. Stop judging me seriously just stop.

I know this is a trial for me hope Allah gives me strength to go through this. Only allah understands me. sometimes. . you just can't trust anyone in this world. . not even your own family. Ultimately, you are the one who will walk alone and will be answerable for your deeds during akhirat. No one will help you.

Maybe I'm being too quick to judge and not contemplating or pondering over the other things that you have done for us.
I don't know, I'm very sad now. I wish everyone would disappear. . wait, no, I wish I will disappear from this dunya.

You never existed, never.

Despite your physical presence, you never once in my life existed in my heart, I am being honest here. Thank you for persistently breaking our hearts.

"Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind." Ironically, thanks for leaving us.

I miss Allah, I miss Rasulullah S.A.W, I miss jannah, i miss Makkah, I miss Madinah, I miss Al Aqsa :'(

For Allah only :'(

Today I feel sad.
I am sad everyday.
So why bother.
This dunya sucks. . urghhh when will I reach jannah?
Why do I feel so trap in this world.
Please release me from this cage ya Allah.
Free me from this imprisonment, quickly take me to heaven :'(
Don't make ibu sad ya Allah.
She has suffered enough.
I cant bear to see her tears.
If this is all good for us, then give us strength Oh my Rabb. Only You know what is good for us, I trust you ya Allah. Give me and ibu strength to overcome this ya Allah. Ya Allah the pain is overwhelming ya Allah but I know You are Most Fair- You will reward us with something better right?
Ya Allah the tears I cry are for You, and You only.
Only You are sufficient for me :'(

What has happen to my family?
Hasbunallah wa ni'mal wakil :'(

#Justareminder

For those of you who have been partying all night long and being too happy during this new yr. . just remember. This new year, it means that 1 year has passed. Don't be too happy as you have to realise that we are being closer to the Hour and Death. Every minute, every second matters. Think about it. What if you were to die today, tomorrow? What if you were to die NOW?

My beautiful 2012(':

Yesterday was amazing subahanAllah. It was my first time spending the last hours of 2011 with the ummah of beloved Nabi Muhammad S.A.W, out in the open space (at YCK stadium) and at night, we managed to sit under the Moon and the Stars witnessing our 'celebration'. I did not regret going for the syarahan and  in all honesty, this is my first time actually going for a syarahan voluntarily! Alhamdulillah ya Rabb. During the event, masyaaAllah there were many pious people (you can see the Nur from their faces glowing). All the men, women, kids and teenagers dressed up appropriately and modestly ya Allah. I love to look at them and how they dress! If you were to compare these Muslims to all the people who were down for countdown party, they dressed up so plesantly for the eyes to look at, unlike those who wore skimpish clothing. The most beautiful part of the event was sending salams to Rasulullah S.A.W. We actually recited some Qaseedas, selawats and heard the recitation of surah An-Naba' from this young boy who has the most beautiful voice(': I am sooo blissful and in a frenzy state of euphoria. . I am so happy that I managed to send loads of salams and selwat to beloved prophet S.A.W! I miss him so much Wallahi :( I hope that he will be happy to see how his ummah was sending him selawats and praising Allah SWT! After that, there were some ceramah and syarahan by certain ustaz pertaining to how we should improve ourselves and set our direction in order to embrace this new change to 2012. What I've learnt was that you need:

1. Ilmu
2. Zikir & selawat byk2 ke Rasulullah S.A.W
3. Improve your akhlak with ppl (if not ppl would hate you & wouldn't want to mix ard with you)
4. Tahajjud
5. Spread Da'awah (don't just spread only to Muslim ppl, spread to non Muslims also!)
6. Jihad Feesabilillah (struggle for the sake of Allah SWT)

InsyaaAllah on this day 1 Jan 2012, I will strive to be a better muslimah for the sake of Allah SWT! I love you Allah SWT & Nabi Muhammad S.A.W <33333333

Forever in my heart(':

For now, my inspiration will be Rabiatul Aadawiyah: I want to become like her- Wali Allah (minus the not marrying part! :P)

Disillusioned

I am sooo confused right now, really, I swear I am. I just log into Tumblr and all those politics stuffs (as usual) flooded my dashboard. I tend to follow human rights activists and politically active bloggers who really knows the hell what is going on in the countries that are suffering from injustices. Apparently, I just got to know from this favourite political, Syrian blogger of mine, that some of the photos being reblogged on tumblr about the Palestinian cause are not ALWAYS from Palestine. Some of them originated from Syria but ignorant people tend to just reblog those photos without checking the source. Well, what i believe is that it is absolutely unfair for the Syrians to suffer and for people to just label the photos under the sufferings of the Palestinians. I wish I haven't been reblogging such photos from Syria and just claiming it to be under the Palestinian cause. Sigh, maybe my knowledge about the world is not wide enough :( I guess I have to read up more. And another thing, I always wonder if being an anti semite. . is it acceptable? I know being anti Semitic is all about hating Jews and discriminating them which is equivalent to racism but isn't the Jews 'kaum yang terlaknat'? Even Allah SWT mention alot about the Jews in the Quran and how merekalah kaum yang terpaling terkutuk di sisi Allah kerana mereka sombong terhadap Allah SWT. They also kill prophets and merekalah musuh ummat Islam and when the Hour comes, the Muslims will be fighting with the Kuffars (led by Al Masih Ad Dajjal) and the army will consist of Jews (and other kafiroons). However, Nabi Muhammad S.A.W once mentioned that, "You should know that no Arab is superior over a non-Arab and, no non-Arab is superior over any Arab, no white is superior over black and no black is superior over white. Superiority is by righteousness and God-fearing [alone]." (Ibn Hanbal, Musnad, 411). Hence, is anti-semitism allowed? I am so confused right now. Sigh, I have already told my friends that I will create a post relating to the Palestinian conflict but when I see how shallow my knowledge is about zionism and stuffs and with the INTELLECTUAL POLITICAL ACTIVISTS following my Tumblr (who knows more shit than me), I might be subjected to disapprovals and more hate messages. So, I'm so sorry. . for now, I will have to build up my knowledge about the Palestinian conflict, Syria and more. i apologize for the inconvenience caused. When things & disagreements on Tumblr have subsided, I will try my best insyaaAllah to post an entry explaining zionism, palestinian conflict and stuffs. If Allah wills(: I hope Allah will answer my questions and doubts in my heart by guiding me :(